The Art and Science of Conflict Management
Conflict is a part of life. It happens because there is an incompatibility of goals, interests, actions, and even ideas. If we learn to accept this fact, then we would realize that the real problem is not the conflict itself but what we do with conflict. If we are able to resolve the conflict, then we will enjoy its gifts such as unity, cooperation, productivity and success. If conflict is not resolved then it begins to create disunity, poor work, and eventually failure.
However just as there are many different cases of conflict, there is no foolproof way or instant formula for resolving conflict. There are times that it would be better to avoid conflict rather than confront it head on. There are times when compromise becomes the best deal. There may also be times when you have to fight it out unto your very last breath. Collaboration is ideal but not for all instances. Sometimes we simply just have to accommodate and let things pass by seemingly unnoticed.
How can we know what to do best in different cases of conflict? Here are some tips to be able to know what action is appropriate in varying instance of conflict.
When to Fight and have no Regret
When the issues at stake are so important and vital to your interests and the life of the whole company-Fight and have no regret. When life, limb, resources, rights, and the most important goals and interests are threatened, then be prepared to make your last stand. Don’t budge. Fight as if this is going to be your final battle on earth. This is a sign not only of your bravery but your integrity and your commitment to the deepest principles in life.
When to run away and simply avoid
If an issue is trivial and petty, giving even a little attention to it would not only be a waste of time and effort, it would drain you of your precious energy if not your integrity. There is nothing you can gain by engaging in this type of conflict. Never ever go down to this level. It is better to avoid it. For one, nothing good will arise if you give attention to it. It will only create a storm in a teacup.
It is also important to understand yourself deeply and know to what extent you can really make a difference. There are instances that no matter how you try, nothing will really come out of it. In this instance, be reminded of the prayer:
God grant me the serenity to accept the things that I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.
When Collaboration is the best solution
When the issues and interests at stake are so important that they cannot be compromised but they are not really opposed, it is best to find an integrative solution. This is important to gain the other side’s commitment and at the same time to learn from them. This would enhance the work at hand by merging different insights and different perspectives and expertise and in the end creating better results.
When compromise is the most appropriate
Compromise is the best option when the issues at stake are moderately important and it would not really hurt if one backs down a bit. It is also the best solution when the result of an open confrontation is estimated to be more disastrous. When two sides would never budge and yet we need to have a temporary settlement because the pressures are great, compromise becomes an option. It is actually a contingency plan when direct competition and collaboration are now out of the question.
When you just have to let things pass by and simply accommodate
This is the best option when you found out that you were mistaken and you are wrong. Being accommodating will show that you are willing to learn from your mistakes and listen to reason. Accommodation means that you can go beyond yourself for the greater interests of the company. It will actually reveal the level of your maturity, sobriety, reasonableness, and good will.
By way of conclusion, knowing the appropriate thing to do in particular instances of conflict is a high art in the science of conflict management.