Conflict Management: Psychology and Science
Conflict exists in all areas of life. In the corporate setting, conflict can either hone us to perfection or it can lead to our doom. The best leaders and managers make good use of conflict to make them better persons. They can actually ride high on the apex of conflict and emerge victorious. As the saying goes, “The strongest steel is forged from the hottest fire.” In the corporate setting, people turn to people who can handle conflict well for strength, encouragement, and of course, leadership. Conflict can either make you or break you. But only in conflict can we actually grasp the real stuff that our inner being is made of. In fact, only in conflict can we realize the stuff of our dreams. Remember the cliché, “When the going gets tough, the tough gets going.” What do the best leaders have so that they can make the best out of conflict and thereby release the best of themselves in the process?
It all begins with a healthy view of conflict.
We have to accept that conflict is natural in this world. We have to look at conflict not as a burden or a problem to take on our shoulders but a challenge that can make us better persons. Richard Bach once quotes, “We need problems because we need their gifts.” Thus we need to perceive conflict as a gift. This gift will prune us and compel us to act and be the best of ourselves. Actually conflict is not a problem nor a gift in itself. It is what we do with conflict that could actually turn it into a problem or a gift.
Conflict is the spice of life. Without conflict, life will become bland and boring and there is no room for improvement. There will actually be no meaning in life without conflict.
How do we define conflict?
As different individuals struggle to meet their diverse interests and needs in society, conflict arises. It arises when two individuals, groups, or parties assert mutually exclusive goals and interests that they think can only be achieved if the other competing party is removed out of the picture. The other is perceived to be blocking the satisfaction of one’s goals and interests. One of the best lessons in management is that in many cases, conflict is not resolved by winning alone. Sometimes one can win a conflict but only at the cost of the respect, love, and loyalty of employees. This is a high price to pay. Conflict is actually for growing, for learning, and for cooperating.
Overcoming Conflict
The best leaders resolve conflict by actually harnessing the same force that bred conflict towards a higher and more satisfying goal and direction. By redirecting the social force of people to a higher goal, one overcomes conflict and transcends current limitations.
There was a story about two brothers who were fighting over a pair of shoes. Their Father resolved the conflict by showing them poor children who had no feet.
Just as there are different cases of conflict, the solutions are also diverse. There is no single formula to resolve conflict. Depending on the situation, we can either fight it out, avoid it, compromise, accommodate, or come up with a collaborative venture.
What matters is that after the conflict is resolved, everyone feels accepted and understood. His or her voice has been heard and acted upon. Everyone is satisfied with the solution with a commitment to work things out together for the good of all. Everyone is involved in the solution and relationships are strengthened to push ahead for higher goals and principles. There is unity and flexibility and the willingness to learn.